What is Success?

What is Success?

1 year old …* Success is.
Can walk without support

4 years old… Success is.
Do not urinate in your pants,

8 years old… Success is..
To know the way back home.

12 years old, success is..
To have friends.

18 years old , success is.
To get a driving license.

23 years, success is.
To graduate from a university.

25 years old, success is.
To get an earning.

30 years old, success is.
To be a family Man.

35 years old, success is.
To make money.

45 years old, success is.
To maintain the appearance of a young man.

50 years old, success is.
To provide good education for your children.

55 years old, success is.
To still be able to perform your duties well.

60 years old, success.
To still be able to keep driving license.

65 years old, success is.
To live without disease.

70 years old, success is.
Not to be a burden on any one.

75 years old, success is.
To have old friends.

81 years old, success is.
To know the way back home.

86 years old, success is.
Not to urinate in your pants again.

90 years old…* Success is.
That you can walk without support again

One of the best messages I have ever read.

Life is a cycle.! Dont expect too much from it. Be simple, cool and happy always.

Khutba e Shabaniya

Khutba e Shabaniya

  1. Virtues of the Month of Ramadan:

أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّهُ قَدْ أَقْبَلَ إِلَيْكُمْ شَهْرُ اللَّهِ بِالْبَرَكَةِ وَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَ الْمَغْفِرَةِ شَهْرٌ هُوَ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ أَفْضَلُ الشُّهُورِ وَ أَيَّامُهُ أَفْضَلُ الْأَيَّامِ وَ لَيَالِيهِ أَفْضَلُ اللَّيَالِي وَ سَاعَاتُهُ أَفْضَلُ السَّاعَاتِ

“O People! “Indeed ahead of you is the blessed month of Allah. A month of blessings, mercy and forgiveness. A month that is the best of months, the days of which the best of days, nights of which are the best of nights and hours of which are the best of hours.

  1. Guests of the Almighty:

هُوَ شَهْرٌ دُعِيتُمْ فِيهِ إِلَى ضِيَافَةِ اللَّهِ وَ جُعِلْتُمْ فِيهِ مِنْ أَهْلِ كَرَامَةِ اللَّهِ

It is the month which invites you to be the guests of Allah and invites you to be one of those near to Him.

  1. Rewards which one gets unconsciously:

أَنْفَاسُكُمْ فِيهِ تَسْبِيحٌ وَ نَوْمُكُمْ فِيهِ عِبَادَةٌ وَ عَمَلُكُمْ فِيهِ مَقْبُولٌ وَ دُعَاؤُكُمْ فِيهِ مستجاب

Each breath you take glorifies Him; your sleep is worship, your deeds are accepted and your supplications are answered.

  1. Conditions of being the guest of honour of the Lord:

فسئلوالل فَاسْأَلُوا اللَّهَ رَبَّكُمْ بِنِيَّاتٍ صَادِقَةٍ وَ قُلُوبٍ طَاهِرَةٍ أَنْ يُوَفِّقَكُمْ لِصِيَامِهِ وَ تِلَاوَةِ كِتَابِهِ فَإِنَّ الشَّقِيَّ مَنْ حُرِمَ غُفْرَانَ اللَّهِ فِي هَذَا الشَّهْرِ الْعَظِيمِ

So, ask Allah, your Lord; to give you a sound body and an enlightened heart so you may be able to fast and recite His book, for the worst of being is he who is devoid of Allah’s forgiveness during this great month.

  1. Recalling the Day of Judgement:

وَ اذْكُرُوا بِجُوعِكُمْ وَ عَطَشِكُمْ فِيهِ جُوعَ يَوْمِ الْقِيَامَةِ وَ عَطَشَهُ

Remember the hunger and thirst of the day of Qiyamah (Judgement) with your hunger and thirst.

  1. Remembering the needy:

وَ تَصَدَّقُوا عَلَى فُقَرَائِكُمْ وَ مَسَاكِينِكُمْ

Give alms to the needy and poor.

  1. Maintaining social norms:

وَقِّرُوا كِبَارَكُمْ وَارْحَمُواصِغَارَكُمْ وَ صِلُوا أَرْحَامَكُمْ

Honour your old, show kindness to the young ones, maintain relations with your blood relations.

  1. Guarding the tongue:

وَ احْفَظُوا أَلْسِنَتَكُمْ

Guard your tongues.

  1. Protecting the eyes:

وَ غُضُّوا عَمَّا لَا يَحِلُّ النَّظَرُ إِلَيْهِ أَبْصَارَكُمْ

Close your eyes to that which is not permissible for your sight.

  1. Closing the ears:

و غضوا وَ عَمَّا لَا يَحِلُّ الِاسْتِمَاعُ إِلَيْهِ أَسْمَاعَكُمْ

Close your ears to that which is forbidden to hear.

  1. Taking care of the orphans:

وَ تَحَنَّنُوا عَلَى أَيْتَامِ النَّاسِ يُتَحَنَّنْ عَلَى أَيْتَامِكُمْ

Show compassion to the orphans of others so compassion may be shown to your orphans.

  1. Repentance:

وَ تُوبُوا إِلَى اللَّهِ مِنْ ذُنُوبِكُمْ

Repent to Allah for your sins.

  1. Invocation to Allah:

وَ ارْفَعُوا إِلَيْهِ أَيْدِيَكُمْ بِالدُّعَاءِ فِي أَوْقَاتِ صَلَاتِكُمْ‏فَإِنَّهَا أَفْضَلُ السَّاعَاتِ يَنْظُرُ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ فِيهَا بِالرَّحْمَةِ إِلَى عِبَادِهِ يُجِيبُهُمْ إِذَا نَاجَوْهُ وَ يُلَبِّيهِمْ إِذَا نَادَوْهُ وَ يُعْطِيهِمْ إِذَا سَأَلُوهُ وَ يَسْتَجِيبُ لَهُمْ إِذَا دَعَوْهُ

Raise your hands in dua during these times, for they are the best of times and Allah looks towards His creatures with kindness, replying to them during the hours and granting their needs if He is asked.

  1. Deeds:

اَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّ أَنْفُسَكُمْ مَرْهُونَةٌ بِأَعْمَالِكُمْ فَفُكُّوهَا بِاسْتِغْفَارِكُمْ وَ ظُهُورَكُمْ ثَقِيلَةٌ مِنْ أَوْزَارِكُمْ فَخَفِّفُوا عَنْهَا بِطُولِ سُجُودِكُمْ

“O People! Indeed your souls are captivated with your deeds, free it with Istighfar (repentance) lighten its load with long prostrations.

  1. Offering prayers:

وَ اعْلَمُوا أَنَّ اللَّهَ أَقْسَمَ بِعِزَّتِهِ أَنْ لَا يُعَذِّبَ الْمُصَلِّينَ وَ السَّاجِدِينَ وَ أَنْ لَا يُرَوِّعَهُمْ بِالنَّارِ يَوْمَ يَقُومُ النَّاسُ لِرَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ

Know that Allah swears by His might: That there is no punishment for the one who prays and prostrates and he shall have no fear of the fire on the day when man stands before the Lord of the Worlds.

  1. Feeding:

أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ مَنْ فَطَّرَ مِنْكُمْ صَائِماً مُؤْمِناً فِي هَذَا الشَّهْرِ كَانَ لَهُ بِذَلِكَ عِنْدَ اللَّهِ عِتْقُ نَسَمَةٍ وَ مَغْفِرَةٌ لِمَا مَضَى مِنْ ذُنُوبِهِ، قِيلَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ فَلَيْسَ كُلُّنَا يَقْدِرُ عَلَى ذَلِكَ فَقَالَ ص اتَّقُوا النَّارَ وَ لَوْ بِشِقِّ تَمْرَةٍ اتَّقُوا النَّارَ وَ لَوْ بِشَرْبَةٍ مِنْ مَاء.ٍ

“O People! One who gives Iftaar to a fasting person during this month will be like one who has freed someone and his past sins will be forgiven.

Some of the people who were there then asked the Prophet (s): “Not all of us are able to invite those who are fasting?”

The Prophet (s) replied: “Allah gives this reward even if the Iftaar (meal) is a drink of water.”

  1. Moral science:

أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ مَنْ حَسَّنَ مِنْكُمْ فِي هَذَا الشَّهْرِ خُلُقَهُ كَانَ لَهُ جَوَازاً عَلَى الصِّرَاطِ يَوْمَ تَزِلُّ فِيهِ الْأَقْدَامُ

“One who has good morals (Akhlaq) during this month will be able to pass the ‘Siraat’…on the day that feet will slip.

  1. Being kind towards the guarded ones:

وَ مَنْ خَفَّفَ فِي هَذَا الشَّهْرِ عَمَّا مَلَكَتْ يَمِينُهُ خَفَّفَ اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ حِسَابَهُ وَ مَنْ كَفَّ فِيهِ شَرَّهُ كَفَّ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ غَضَبَهُ يَوْمَ يَلْقَاهُ وَ مَنْ أَكْرَمَ فِيهِ يَتِيماً أَكْرَمَهُ اللَّهُ يَوْمَ يَلْقَاهُ

Whoever lightens the burden from the guarded ones ( kids, servants etc.) Allah will lighten his burden of his account.

“One who covers the faults of others will benefit in that Allah will curb His anger on the day of Judgement…

“As for one who honours an orphan; Allah will honour him on the Day of Judgement.

  1. Having good relations with the relatives:

وَ مَنْ وَصَلَ فِيهِ رَحِمَهُ وَصَلَهُ اللَّهُ بِرَحْمَتِهِ يَوْمَ يَلْقَاهُ وَ مَنْ قَطَعَ فِيهِ رَحِمَهُ قَطَعَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ رَحْمَتَهُ يَوْمَ يَلْقَاهُ

“And for the one who spreads his kindness towards his kinsmen, Allah will spread His mercy over him on the Day of Judgement.”As for the one who cuts the ties of relation; Allah will cut His mercy from him.

  1. Reward of optional prayers:

وَ مَنْ تَطَوَّعَ فِيهِ بِصَلَاةٍ كَتَبَ اللَّهُ لَهُ بَرَاءَةً مِنَ النَّارِ

“Who so ever performs a recommended prayer in this month Allah will keep the fire of Hell away from him.

  1. Reward of obligatory prayers:

وَ مَنْ أَدَّى فِيهِ فَرْضاً كَانَ لَهُ ثَوَابُ مَنْ أَدَّى سَبْعِينَ فَرِيضَةً فِيمَا سِوَاهُ مِنَ الشُّهُورِ

“Whoever performs an obligatory prayer Allah will reward him with seventy prayers [worth] in this month.

  1. Offering salutations to the Prophet (saw):

وَ مَنْ أَكْثَرَ فِيهِ مِنَ الصَّلَاةِ عَلَيَّ ثَقَّلَ اللَّهُ مِيزَانَهُ يَوْمَ تَخِفُّ الْمَوَازِينُ

And who so ever prays a lot during this month will have his load lightened on the Day of Measure.

  1. Reward of recitation of the Holy Quran:

وَ مَنْ تَلَا فِيهِ آيَةً مِنَ الْقُرْآنِ كَانَ لَهُ مِثْلُ أَجْرِ مَنْ خَتَمَ الْقُرْآنَ فِي غَيْرِهِ مِنَ الشُّهُورِ

“He who recites one verse of the Holy Quran will be given the rewards of reciting the whole Qur’an during other months.

  1. Heaven and Hell:

أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنَّ أَبْوَابَ الْجِنَانِ فِي هَذَا الشَّهْرِ مُفَتَّحَةٌ فَاسْأَلُوا رَبَّكُمْ أَنْ لَا يُغَلِّقَهَا عَنْكُمْ وَ أَبْوَابَ النِّيرَانِ مُغَلَّقَةٌ فَاسْأَلُوا رَبَّكُمْ أَنْ لَا يُفَتِّحَهَا عَلَيْكُمْ وَالشَّيَاطِينَ مَغْلُولَةٌ فَاسْأَلُوا رَبَّكُمْ أَنْ لَا يُسَلِّطَهَا عَلَيْكُمْ

O People! Indeed during this month the doors of heaven are open, therefore ask Allah not to close them for you; The doors of hell are closed, so ask Allah to keep them closed for you. During this month Shaytan (Satan) is imprisoned so ask your Lord not to let him have power over you.

  1. Best of the deeds:

قَالَ أَمِيرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ عليه السلام فَقُمْتُ فَقُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ مَا أَفْضَلُ الْأَعْمَالِ فِي هَذَا الشَّهْرِ؟ فَقَالَ يَا أَبَا الْحَسَنِ أَفْضَلُ الْأَعْمَالِ فِي هَذَا الشَّهْرِ الْوَرَعُ عَنْ مَحَارِمِ اللَّهِ

Imam Ali (a.s) asks the Prophet (saw) OProphet of Allah what is the best of deeds? The Beloved Prophet (saw) replied by saying: O Abul Hassan (a.s) the best of deeds in this month is protecting the self from the prohibited things (Haram).

  1. Shahadat and Wilayat (Martyrdom and Guardianship):

ثُمَّ بَكَي‌، فَقُلْتُ: مَا يُبْكِيْكَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَهِ ؟ فَقَالَ: أَبْكِي‌ لِمَا يُسْتَحَلُّ مِنْكَ فِي‌ هَذَا الشَّهْرِ؛ كَأَنِّي‌ بِكَ وَ أَنْتَ تُصَلِّي‌ لِرَبِّكَ وَ قَدِ انْبَعَثَ أَشْقَي‌ الاْوَّلِينَ وَ ا لاْ خِرِينَ، شَقِيقُ عَاقِرِ نَاقَةِ ثَمُودَ؛ فَضَرَبَكَ ضَرَبَةً عَلَي‌ قَرْنِكَ فَخُضِبَتْ مِنْهَا لِحْيَتُكَ
فَقُلْتُ: يَا رَسُولَ اللَهِ! فِي‌ سَلاَمَةٍ مِنْ دِيني‌ ؟ فَقَالَ صَلَّي‌ اللَهُ عَلَيْهِ وَ ءَالِهِ وَ سَلَّمَ: فِي‌ سَلاَمَةٍ مِنْ دِينِكَ
ثُمَّ قَالَ: يَا عَلِيُّ! مَنْ قَتَلَكَ فَقَدْ قَتَلَنِي‌، وَ مَنْ أَبْغَضَكَ فَقَدْ أَبْغَضَنِي‌؛ لاِنَّكَ مِنِّي‌ كَنَفْسِي‌، وَ طِينَتُكَ مِنْ طِينَتِي‌، وَ أَنْتَ وَصِيِّي‌ وَ خَلِيفَتِي‌ فِي‌ أُمَّتِي‌.

The Prophet (s.s) started crying Imam Ali (a.s) asked OProphet of Allah why are you crying? He said: Im crying for what is going to happen to you in this month, as I see while you are praying the worst of beings in this world and the world to come, even worse than the killer of the she camel of Thamood, will strike you on your forehead. Your beard will be colored with your blood; then I asked him OProphet of Allah! Will this be at a time where I have achieved safety of my religion? The Prophet (saw) said: Yes you will be firm in your religion, then he said: O Ali whoever kills you it is as if he has killed me, whoever angers you he has angered me, indeed you are to me like I am to myself, your nature is my nature and you are my heir and my caliph for my followers.

Time of Imam Mahdi (a)

Time of Imam Mahdi (a)

The time of our Imam is near. The shaitan whose stated goal is to entice as many humans as possible to follow him into hell is desperate to capture as many of us in his snare while he still has the time. This is why the world is being filled with as many aspects of sin and evil he can muster.

He has numerous tools he has developed over the centuries, most of which are portrayed as pleasures that modern life glitters with. Most of these are  pleasures such as, shopping, sport, music, entertainment, partying, drink and drugs (are just a short list). Even things that we know are wrong such as adultery, etc. are now being portrayed as human rights, when not that long ago they were crimes in the west.

Social media tools (such as Facebook, twitter, Instagram, snap chat etc) have their benefits, but their primary objective is to take away your privacy, monitor and control you. When our community use these, we fall for the wiles of Shaitan and forget about hijab (which is about behaviour as well as dress). Remember, when you use these tools, EVERYTHING you post is visible to him and his system, despite what these companies tell you.

Even the education system is now being used to corrupt our children who are taught they should be ‘little adults” who are independent (selfish), able to decide for themselves (disrespect parents’ rights and authority), be trendy (dress and behave immorally) and even sexualising them as is now being brought into western schools.

One major strategy is to divide and conquer. This started with nations, but is now a common technique used against communities and even families.

Unfortunately, the Muslim community and family are falling foul of many of these techniques, considering them to be benign and harmless.

Our community and often families are divided and often cannot even agree on the simplest of things.

The birthday (Wiladat) of our imam and this month is an opportunity for us to stop and reflect, are we being honest to ourselves, our community and our imam? Are we taking refuge in Allah (swt) or shaitan?

It is a time for us to re-think what is right and halal vs. what is wrong and haram. Modern life often blurs the boundaries.

Some responsibilities of those who are awaiting the Imam of the Time a.t.f

Some of our responsibilities in the Ghaibat (occultation) of Imam-e-Mahdi (a)

  1. Know Islam completely and follow it closely and ardently.
  2. Read the Holy Quran daily with the translation and try your best to understand it, because this is and will be our constitution during the government of the Imam a.
  3. Tazkia al-Nafs (purification of the self) as the very purpose of the Heavenly Systems and Governments.
  4. Education should be on the top list of our priorities, we should make a point no one should be uneducated in our community.
  5. Total implementation and adherence to the teachings of Islam in our day to day life.
  6. Understanding the justice system of Islam, trying to adapt it and try to spread it.
  7. Establishments of Islamic family court at the time of problems going to such establishment to seek Islamic rulings.
  8. Educating the people on the arrival of the Imam (a) and preparing oneself and the society for his reappearance.
  9. At least once a week going to such a gathering where one can learn about Islam and self-development.
  10. Be health conscious, always eat healthy and do daily exercise (in preparation for the Imam’s arrival).
  11. Always look after the needy so pay of your Khums, Zakat etc.
  12. Maintain good relationship (Silah Raham) with relatives, friends etc.
  13. We need to remind ourselves that the Wilayat of the Imam (a) is a must, so it is important to learn about the correct meaning of Wilayat of Ahlul Bait (a)
  14. Always pray for the reappearance of the Imam a. and try to renew pledge to the Imam a. by reading at least once a week the Dua al Ahad.
  15. Don’t ever go to gatherings (like clubs mix parties etc.) which are forbidden in Islam or anything for that matter which would disappoint the Imam of our time (a).
  16. Always maintain unity of Muslim Ummat and propagate it forcefully.
  17. Understanding the nature of leadership of the Ummat during the occultation thus try to understand importance of Wilayat-al-Faqih and your Marja. There are forces working against destroying the system of Marjaiyyat and role of Ulama in the society.
  18. Try to understand and unveil the ugly face of the oppressors of the time.

This is not an exhaustive list, there are many more things, but it could be a good start if we could implement this list even partially.

Courtesy of Maulana Syed Zaki Baqri Sahab Qibla, with some additions.

دو نوع از زنان‌‌‌‌‌

یکی از خانم معلم ها رساله‌ای نوشته اند که باید با طلا نوشته شود

می گوید: همسر بزرگوار برادر بزرگوار و فرزند عزیزم
هنگام بیرون رفتن از خانه با دو نوع از زنان رو به رو خواهی شد.
نوع اول: زنی که به بیماری زن عزیز مصر مبتلا شده است…. و چهره آرایی کرده و خوشبویی زده و خود را نیمه عریان نموده است و زبان این حالتش چنین می گوید: بیا جلو با تو هستم.

و نوع دوم : زنی که خود را پوشیده است و حجاب گرفته است اما او را برای انجام امور ضروری ‌و برطرف نمودن نیازش از خانه خارج شده است و با زبان آن حالتش چنین می گوید:

پدر ما پیرمرد کهنسالی است و ما منتظریم تا همه چوپانان برگردنند و خلوت گردد.

پس با نوع اول باید چنین برخورد نمود که یوسف علیه السلام برخورد نمود: نگاهت را پایین افکن و بگو : پناه بر الله

و با نوع دوم همچون موسی علیه السلام برخورد کن ، با حفظ ادب یاری و کمک کن و به دنبال کار و نیاز خودت برو.
پس به گله آن دو آب داد سپس به بسوی سایه برگشت.

به راستی که پاکدامنی یوسف علیه السلام سبب شد که او عزیز مصر گردد.

و شهامت موسی علیه السلام سبب شد که الله تعالی به او همسر نیکوی و همدردی عطا نماید.
پروردگارا به ما پاکدامنی و ستر و حجاب عطا کن….

لباس های زن نشانگر تربیت پدر او و نشانگر غیرت برادر و مردانگی همسر او و حرص و مراقبت مادرش است، و قبل از تمام اینها سپردن او به الله تعالی است.
برای این بود که به مریم علیه السلام گفتند:
ای خواهر هارون! نه پدر تو مرد بدی بود، و نه مادرت زن بدکاره‌ای.

او را به برادر و‌ پدر و مادرش یاد کردند.
پس صلاح زن در صلاح اینها است.
یکی از دختران چنین می گوید:
هنگامیکه دختری را که خود آرایی می کند و در عریانی زیاده روی می کند را می بینم به والدینش می نگرم و این کلام الله تعالی را به یاد می آورم:

( وقفوهم انهم مسئولون)
آنها را نگاهدارید که باید بازپرسی شوند.

پس به حیا و عفت و حجابم می افزایم تا مادر سوال نشود.

بزرگترین چیز هایی که الله تعالی در دنیا حرام نموده است در بهشت حلال هستند مانند شراب.. مگر لختی و عریانی که الله تعالی آن را در هر دو سرا حرام نموده است و زیاد ستر نمودن و پوشش از نعمت هاست.
ان لك الا تجوع فيها ولا تعری

تو در آن نه گرسنه می‌شوی و نه برهنه می‌گردی.

® به صراحت می گویم که این از مطالب مفیدی است که لازم است آن را در شبکه‌های اجتماعی بفرستیم ، کسی که این رساله را می فرستد الله تعالی او را ببخشد و آن را در میزان حسناتش قرار دهد.®

موزے والیوں کے نام!

موزے والیوں کے نام!

ایک گاؤں میں ایک باپردہ خاتون رہتی تھیں
جن کی ڈیمانڈ تھی کہ شادی اس سے کریں گی جو انہیں باپردہ رکھے گا

ایک نوجوان اس شرط پر نکاح کے لیے رضامند ہوجاتا ہے

دونوں کی شادی ہوجاتی ہے ۔ وقت گذرتا رہتا ہے یہاں تک کہ ایک بیٹا ہوجاتا ہے ۔

ایک دن شوہر کہتا ہے کہ میں سارا دن کھیتوں میں کام کرتا ہوں ۔ کھانے کے لیے مجھے گھر آنا پڑتا ہے جس سے وقت کا ضیاع ہوتا ہے تم مجھے کھانا کھیتوں میں پہنچادیا کرو

بیوی راضی ہوجاتی ہے ۔۔

وقت گذرتے گذرتے ایک اور بیٹا ہوجاتا ہے
جس پر شوہر کہتا ہے کہ اب گذارا مشکل ہے تمہیں میرے ساتھ کھیتوں میں ہاتھ بٹانا پڑے گا
یوں وہ باپردگی سے نیم پردے تک پہنچ جاتی ہے
اور تیسرے بیٹے کی پیدائش پر اس کا شوہر مکمل بے پردگی تک لے آتا ہے

وقت گذرتا رہتا ہے یہاں تک اولاد جوان ہوجاتی ہے
ایک دن یونہی بیٹھے بیٹھے شوہر ہسنے لگتا ہے
بیوی سبب پوچھتی ہے

تو کہتا ہے کہ بڑا تو پردہ پردہ کرتی تھی آخر کار تیرا پردہ ختم ہوگیا ۔۔ کیا فرق پڑا پردے اور بے پردگی کا
زندگی تو اب بھی ویسے ہی گذر رہی ہے

وہ بولتی ہے کہ تم ساتھ والے کمرے میں چھپ جاؤ میں تمہیں پردے اور بے پردگی کا فرق سمجھاتی ہوں
شوہر کمرے میں چھپ جاتا ہے

عورت اپنے بال بکھیرے رونا پیٹنا شروع کردیتی ہے
پہلے بڑا بیٹا آتا ہے ۔ رونے کا سبب پوچھتا ہے
کہتی ہے تیرے باپ نے مارا ہے

بڑا بیٹا ماں کو سمجھاتا ہے کہ اگر مارا ہے تو کوئی بات نہیں وہ آپ سے محبت بھی تو کرتے ہیں آپ کا خیال رکھتے ہیں ۔

وہ سمجھا بجھا کر چلا جاتا ہے

عورت پھر سے رونے کی ایکٹنگ کرتی ہے اور منجھلے بیٹے کو بلا کر بتاتی ہے کہ تیرے باپ نے مجھے مارا
منجھلا بیٹا کو غصہ آتا ہے وہ باپ کو برا بھلا کہتے ہوئے ماں کو سمجھا بجھا کر چپ کروا کر چلا جاتا ہے
آخر کار عورت یہی ڈرامہ چھوٹے بیٹے کے سامنے کرتی ہے

چھوٹا بیٹا تو غصہ سے آگ بگولہ ہوجاتا ہے اور زور زور سے گالیاں بکتے ہوئے ڈنڈا اٹھاتا ہے اور کہتا ہے کہ ابھی باپ کی خبر لیتا ہوں

پھر عورت شوہر کو بلا کر بولتی ہے
کہ پہلا میرے پردے کے وقت پیدا ہوا
تو اس نے تیرا پردہ رکھا

دوسرا نیم پردے کے زمانے میں پیدا ہوا
تو تیری آدھی لاج رکھ لی

جبکہ تیسرا جو مکمل بے پردگی کے زمانے میں ہوا
تو وہ مکمل طور پر تیرا عزت کا پردہ اتارنے گیا ہے

حاصل کلام:

پردہ عورت کا فطری تقاضا ہے

جو خالق مرد وزن کی طرف سے قاعدہ بھی ہے ۔۔ جس کی بے شمار حکمتیں خالق ہی جانتا ہے
اور یہ دنیاوی قاعدہ بھی ہے کہ اگر آپ کسی مشین کو چلانے کے لیے کمپنی کی ہدایات چھوڑ کر عقل سے چلانے کی کوشش کریں گے تو مشین کی بربادی یقینی ہے۔

یہی وجہ ہے کہ جو لوگ (مغربی دنیا) یہ تجربہ (عورت کی آزادی) کرچکے ہیں

ان سے پوچھو کہ آج وہاں ریپ کا تناسب کیا ہے؟
ان کے معاشرے میں ماں بہن بیوی بیٹی کو کیا مقام حاصل ہے ؟

اور پھر وہاں کی اولادیں اپنے والدین کے ساتھ کیا سلوک کرتے ہیں یہ بھی کسی سے پوشیدہ نہیں
اور مشرقی معاشرہ میں آج بھی ماں بہن بیوی بیٹی کو کیا مقام حاصل ہے ؟

اور ہمارے معاشرے میں عورت کس قدر محفوظ ہے یہ بتانے کی ضرورت نہیں۔

اور جس قدر ماں باپ اپنے بچوں کی تربیت اسلامی اصولوں کے مطابق کرتے ہیں اسی قدر بچوں سے خدمت کا لطف اٹھاتے رہتے ہیں۔

IMP – Some social rules may help you to look professional

Some social rules may help you to look professional

  1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call that means they have something more important to attend to.
  2. Return money that you have Some social rules may help you to look professional even before the other person remembers lending it to you. It shows your integrity and character. Same goes with umbrellas, pens and lunch boxes.
  3. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is treating you for lunch/dinner. If possible ask them to order their choice of food for you.
  4. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh so you aren’t married yet?’ Or Why didn’t you buy a house?’ For god’s sake it isn’t your problem.
  5. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. Doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public.
  6. If you take a taxi with a friend, and he/she pays now, you pay next time.
  7. Respect different political opinions.
  8. Never interrupt people talking.
  9. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again.
  10. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.
  11. Praise publicly. Criticize privately.
  12. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will.
  13. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next.
  14. If a colleague tells you they have a doctors appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say hope you’re ok. If they want to talk about it they will and you don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you their personal illness.
  15. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rudely you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect.
  16. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude.
  17. Never give advice until you’re asked
  18. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age and salary.
  19. Mind your own business unless anything involves you directly — just stay out of it.
  20. Take off your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect and more eye contact is as important as your speech.

I think this message is useful. Share it with others if you think the same.

#copied

Five Things in Five Things

بسم اللہ الرحمن الرحیم

حدیث قدسی

« أَوْحَى اللَّهُ تَعَالَى إِلَى دَاوُدَ ع یَا دَاوُدُ- إِنِّی وَضَعْتُ خَمْسَةً فِی خَمْسَةٍ- وَ النَّاسُ یَطْلُبُونَهَا فِی خَمْسَةٍ غَیْرِهَا فَلَا یَجِدُونَهَا- وَضَعْتُ الْعِلْمَ فِی الْجُوعِ وَ الْجَهْدِ- وَ هُمْ یَطْلُبُونَهُ فِی الشِّبَعِ وَ الرَّاحَةِ فَلَا یَجِدُونَهُ- وَضَعْتُ الْعِزَّ فِی طَاعَتِی- وَ هُمْ یَطْلُبُونَهُ فِی خِدْمَةِ السُّلْطَانِ فَلَا یَجِدُونَهُ- وَ وَضَعْتُ الْغِنَى فِی الْقَنَاعَةِ- وَ هُمْ یَطْلُبُونَهُ فِی كَثْرَةِ الْمَالِ فَلَا یَجِدُونَهُ- وَ وَضَعْتُ رِضَایَ فِی سَخَطِ النَّفْسِ- وَ هُمْ یَطْلُبُونَهُ فِی رِضَا النَّفْسِ فَلَا یَجِدُونَهُ- وَ وَضَعْتُ الرَّاحَةَ فِی الْجَنَّةِ- وَ هُمْ یَطْلُبُونَهَا فِی الدُّنْیَا فَلَا یَجِدُونَهَا. »

ترجمہ فارسی

خدای تعالی وحی نمود بر حضرت داود (ع) که: اى داود! من پنج چیز را در پنج چیز قرار داده ام، ولى مردم آنها را در پنج چیز دیگر مىجویند و نمىیابند.

علم حقیقی را در گرسنگى و تلاش و كوشش قرار داده ام، ولى مردم آن را در سیرى و راحتى مىجویند و نمىیابند.

عزّت را در اطاعت از خودم نهادهام ولى مردم آن را در خدمت به سلاطین طلب مىكنند و نمىیابند.

بىنیازى را در قناعت قرار داده ام، ولى مردم آن را در مال زیاد مىجویند و نمىیابند.

رضایت خودم را در نارضایتى نفس نهادهام، ولى مردم آن را در رضایت نفس طلب مىكنند و نمىیابند.

و راحتى و آسایش را در بهشت قرار دادهام، امّا مردم آن را در دنیا مىجویند و نمىیابند.»

(بحار الأنوار ، ج75 ،ص 453 )

English Translation

Allāh revealed to Hazrat Dawood (a): O Dawood! I have put five things in five things, but people are seeking them in some other things, so they are not able to obtain them.

  1. I have put the true knowledge in hunger and effort, but people are searching it in comfort and full stomach, so they don’t get it.
  2. I have kept dignity, (honour) in my obedience, but people are seeking it in the service of sultans, so they don’t get it.
  3. I have placed joy (feeling of fulfilment and not being in need of anyone) in being contented (with what I have given them) however people are looking for it in immeasurable wealth, so they don’t get it.
  4. I have placed my gratification in restraining one’s self (Nafs, soul) but people are looking for it in gratifying one’s self, so they don’t get it.
  5. I have laid comfort in Paradise, but people are pursuing it in this world, so they don’t get it.

(Bihar al-Anwar, p. 75, p. 453)

Collapse of Parenting – A MUST READ PLEASE

Collapse of Parenting

Yesterday we attended an event that changed my perspective on raising kids completely. I will try to summarize the key points as it will be helpful to all. The speaker was Dr. Leonard Sax. Even though it was at the mosque it was not related to any religion. The speaker is a Jewish Psychologist and author of a famous book call Collapse of Parenting. He had a lot of statistical information and tips to raise kids in America. Even though it was more focused on American Kids, it applies to bringing up Kids in the Age of Internet and Social Media, the evils of which have spread like an epidemic in the whole world. I can tell you that this was probably the best 3-hour workshop we attended. Even though a big segment was dedicated to social media, it was primarily about raising kids who will go on to have strong character and virtue. I have summarized the points below.

1) Statistically the biggest indicator of success at 32 years is having self-control when a kid is 12 years old. Success is determined by a lot of factors namely no drug, no criminal violation, having a stable job, good citizenship etc

2) Make your kids speak their native language at home and with you. Reduce generation gap by involving their grandparents in their lives. If possible, try to convince their grand-parents to move in with you.

3) Make them feel proud of their heritage. Kids nowadays are ashamed to talk their language or wear their cultural attire. In a quest to fit in and assimilate they want to no longer associate with their roots.

4) Have a friend circle with folks whose kids also are able to communicate in the same mother tongue. This way the kids can talk the language among themselves.

5) Do not give them smart phones until you know they are responsible. Buy them a dumb phone if required. This phone will fulfil the needs.

6) He went onto compare American society of the 50s to now. The family unit used to be the focus of ads and movies. How media has changed. At that time shows that depict parents as role models having strong moral characters were popular. Now shows like Simpsons etc that show Parents as dumb are popular. Make sure u keep track of things your kids watch. The more they watch shows like this the more they will lose respect for you as a parent.

7) Keep them away from games that promote violence and vice. He talked about Fortnite and Grand Theft Auto. Grand theft auto in particular rewards a person for doing all the wrong stuff like stealing cars and killing people. What kind of character is that going to build. He talked about how violence in games is directly related to gun violence in America with statistical examples.

8) No TV or computers in the bedroom. Kids cannot be in the bedroom with screen whether its school work or something else. Make family room a place where screen time is allowed. Follow the example yourself as well. Bedroom should be a place to go to sleep not to socialize with the outside world.

9) Keep kids away from Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook if possible as long as possible. Put monitoring software on their devices so that every single picture they take or Share, you get notified. Take their phones away at 9 in the night and give it back to them in the morning. Tell them that this is a condition going forward if they would like to keep their phone.

10) Be a peer to them but not a friend. If you become too friendly with the kids, they will start taking you for granted. Speak to them from a place of authority where No means No. When you take away the privileges from kids for their bad actions, they are going to resist. Be firm, remember you are the Parent.

11) Girls according to statistics are greatly influenced by Instagram and snapchat. Girls by nature will always post the good thing happening in their lives. This will create an illusion among other girls and lead them to think that their life is a mess and make them go into depression. Boys are more influenced by video games. Limit screen time to 20 minutes a day during the week and 1 hour on weekends. But the condition is they complete all their school work. If they do not listen take away their devices.

12) Raise kids with humility. A very important characteristic. This can be inculcated by making them do chores at home even though u can afford maids. He said that the typical thing that parents say is my son/daughter is already so busy I cannot burden him or her. This is a very wrong approach and will make your kids grow up with a feeling of entitlement and selfishness.

13) The biggest detrimental effect of increased screen time or social media is the displacement effect. Which means that the time they are spending on games is the time they are not spending on something useful.

14) Know what kind of music they listen to. The music of these times is ripe with sexual innuendo. Make sure they do not make people like Justin Bieber or Akon as their role models. He gave example of how the chartbuster song last year with some 1 billion or, so downloads were filled with the most sexual content imaginable.

15) T-shirts with stuff written with rude and offensive remarks like “I will trade Wi-Fi for my Brother”, “I don’t care” etc. should not be encouraged. T-shirts of these types when shown in Scotland and Australia, people found it very offensive. He actually talked about a guy he found wandering the Streets of Australia who was wearing this type of T-shirt. When Dr. Sax approached he found out he was an American visiting Australia.

16) America is one of the leading countries where drugs are given to kids in the name of ADHD and Depression. The statistics he said was the whole of France does not prescribe medicine for these disorders as much as they would do in entire Houston. Any small issues with A Kid, he is treated with anti-depression medicine. This is all destroying a generation.

17) He said religion is a very important factor in people’s life. Nowadays people have made popularity, fame, money etc. as their God. When people lack a higher purpose in life then they try to make materialistic things as their end goal.

18) When they surveyed people in the 1980s in America as to what are the 15 most important qualities or characteristics people should possess. Having good character and helping people etc were all top of the list and being famous was on number 15 on the list. Today becoming famous is at number one. Signs of the changing times.

19) There is a big industry that makes phone apps that look like calculators, but when you enter a certain number it opens into an app that shows pornographic images. This way the kids can fool their parents. It goes beyond this. If the kid shakes the phone before handing over to the parent, the app disappears without a trace, not even in the recent list. Unless u download certain monitoring software it will be difficult for parents to keep on top of their kids’ online activity. Netnanny is one of the software he recommended.

20) The kids who are addicted to online bad video games, when we ask them, are there any changes in their personality, they compare themselves with who are their peers and in similar situation and feel that they are OK, normal. But they are not comparing with normal kids who are not addicted.

22) Having dinner/meal with family is very important. The kids who eat 7 or more times in a week with family vs those who eat alone, there is big difference in their stress level and self-control and happiness

23) if you give 20 min screen time to your kids per day and if they don’t use it, those min should not roll over to future dates.

24) Snapchat photos do not necessarily vanish in 5 sec. There are Apps that circumvent this restriction and allow you to take screen shots of photos without letting the sender know.

25)For current generation ‘how they look’ is more important than ‘who they are’

26)Finally, the Doctor added a very important point. He said Human beings have the longest period of childhood of all Mammals. Horses run Derbys when they are aged 3. This is by design for a reason. God has created human beings to have a long period (18 years) in which they are nurtured, and the values re-enforced so that they stick with the individual for the rest of his/her life. Once the formative years are lost it is very difficult for an individual to change.